Remembrance
by Zab Jade
Summary: Gojyo remembers, and Sanzo listens. No pairings. Rating for language.


**Remembrance**

**Disclaimer:** Saiyuki and all associated characters were created by Minekura Kazuya. I am making no money from this and am merely using the characters and setting for storytelling purposes.

**Author's Note: **While at Shunrei's house, Hakkai tells Goku and Sanzo more about Gojyo's past in the manga than in the anime. The listed reasons for Gojyo's ponytail are based on the fact that it's usually only seen when he's upset about something (like the night before he leaves the group to go after Kami-sama) or seems to be suffering from depression (like in the flashback to when he found Gono. He'd had the ponytail even before the woman brought up his hair, but his thoughts suggest he'd been in a depressed state for a while). Sanzo's thoughts on said ponytail do not reflect my own. I think it's cute.

…

Sanzo squinted at his newspaper in the firelight, trying to ignore the two idiots sitting across from him. The redheaded idiot had his ridiculously long mop tied up in the stupid, bouncy ponytail he used whenever he was depressed or, more rarely, just really didn't feel like messing with his hair. From the way he had been almost aggressively teasing the monkey all day, Sanzo figured it was the former.

Gojyo could fake a cheerful, laid-back attitude even better than Hakkai and didn't believe in imposing his own shitty moods on other people. In theory, Sanzo approved, but a brooding Gojyo would have been a hell of a lot quieter.

"Get off me, you stupid dumbass monkey!" Gojyo snarled viciously.

Sanzo lowered his paper in time to see Gojyo roughly shove Goku away from him. The half-breed got to his feet, one hand clenched at his side while the other went to his scarred left cheek. When he pulled his hand away, his fingertips were lightly stained with blood.

Goku immediately went from angry to contrite. "Sorry, Gojyo. I didn't mean to. It's just a little scratch, so it won't…." The monkey trailed off, looking even more miserable.

_Oh, great, just what I needed,_ Sanzo thought in disgust. _A depressed kappa was bad enough, and now I have to deal with a sad, whining monkey. If Gojyo doesn't fix this, I'm going to fucking kill him._

"Tch. Learn to be more careful, dumbass," Gojyo muttered, looking away from Goku. "A little bit of marking adds character, but think of all the ladies you'll distress if you make me ugly."

Luckily for Gojyo's projected lifespan, the monkey managed a grin at that, his good mood restored. The kappa ruffled the kid's hair before pulling out a cigarette.

"I'm gonna go smoke. Back in a bit."

"There's no reason to go out in the woods in the dark just to smoke, Gojyo," Hakkai pointed out reasonably.

Sanzo, fluent in Hakkai-speech, knew that meant, _"I'm worried about you and would like you to stay where I can keep an eye on you."_

Gojyo, who Sanzo knew was just as fluent in Hakkai-speech, pretended not to understand. He glanced at the dragon sleeping by his best friend's side. "It's not that dark. The stars and moon are pretty bright tonight. 'Sides, Hakuryu had a rough day. It wouldn't be very nice to wake him up with cigarette smoke."

Sanzo went back to reading his paper once the half-breed left camp, basking in the peace and quiet. It didn't last long. The moment Sanzo pulled out one of his own cigarettes, Hakkai loudly cleared his throat.

"What?" Sanzo growled in irritation, glaring at Hakkai over the top of his paper.

The other man smiled pleasantly. "Gojyo was quite correct. It really wouldn't be very nice to wake Hakuryu. He's been quite exhausted, and smoke inhalation could increase the time he'll need to rest. Why, we might even end up having to walk tomorrow if you decide to smoke here."

Sanzo grunted sourly. The look in Hakkai's eyes clearly said, _"I don't want Gojyo to be alone right now, and you are the only one with a reasonable excuse to go after him. Please do so, or you will suffer in ways you couldn't even begin to imagine."_

Muttering curses under his breath, Sanzo put down his paper, tucked his reading glasses into his robe, and followed Gojyo's path out into the woods. The half-breed had only gone a few yards from camp and was sitting against a tree.

Sanzo leaned against the same tree and lit a Marlboro. "Hakkai's being a bitchy mother hen. Want to tell me what's wrong, or should I just shoot you and put you out of my misery?"

"Hn. How nice of you to offer, Master Sanzo," Gojyo drawled annoyingly. He only addressed him respectfully when he was mocking him. "But with your craptastic aim, you'd just end up shooting me in the balls or something."

Traveling with Gojyo had refined Sanzo's smartass remark response to the point where his gun was out and pointed in Gojyo's general direction before he even had time to think about it. "Maybe I should aim there to begin with. If I'm such a lousy shot, the bullet should hit you right between the eyes."

"Not a risk I'm willing to take," Gojyo said dryly. He stubbed out the remains of his cigarette and lit another Hi-Lite. "I'll be my usual devastatingly charming self in the morning. This just isn't a particularly good day for me. Too many damn memories."

Sanzo grunted noncommittally. If the kappa didn't want to continue, he didn't have to. And if he did, Sanzo would at least give him the benefit of listening.

"It was today, you know? Several years back on this day, I got these scars on my cheek, and my mom died."

Sanzo knew he was talking about his stepmother. She had been the one to raise him, and he never seemed to even think about his birth mother. Hakkai had told them about it once when Goku had whined about not liking secrets.

"She was insane. Your brother put her out of her misery to save your life."

"Yeah, I suppose that's one way of looking at it." The half-breed got to his feet and stretched. "I'm heading back."

"How do you look at it?"

"Hm?" Gojyo glanced back over his shoulder.

"You said that's one way of looking at it. How do _you_ look at it?"

He closed his eyes briefly and smiled sadly. "As the day my very existence forced the person I admired most to kill the only woman I've ever really loved."

Everything was still for a moment after that, then Gojyo started back toward the camp. "Hurry back, Sanzo. The monkey'd never forgive me if you got eaten by something out here."

As he walked away, he slid one hand back behind his head, removing the ponytail holder.

"Mission accomplished," Sanzo muttered around his cigarette as he watched the scarlet hair tumble down around Gojyo's shoulders.


End file.
